Смешные анекдоты, истории, сюжеты, фотографии и видеоролики.

A Chicago lawyer named George successfully defends a major crime lord from charges of dealing drugs, racketeering, murder, kidnapping, and selling arms. As he is leaving the courtroom, an indignant old woman grabs him by the arm. "Young man, where are your Christian scruples? I believe you would defend Satan himself!" "I don't…

A Blonde goes to a barber and asks for a haircut. The barber asks her to take off her headphones, and she says she needs them and can't take them off. As he starts to cut her hair, she falls asleep in the chair. The barber can't cut her hair correctly with the headphones on, so he removes them, and after 30 seconds she drops dead. Startled by…

- "I have good news and bad news", the defense lawyer says to his client. - "What's the bad news?" The lawyer says: - "Your blood matches the DNA found at the murder scene." - "Dammit!" cries the client. "What's the good news?" - "Well," the lawyer says, "Your cholesterol is…

"The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks." "And did he?" "Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the…

"So, Nik, how do you like your new mother?" a newly remarried father asks his little son. "You know, Daddy," the boy replies sadly, "I think they fooled us; she doesn't look new at…

"Lord, I have a problem!" "What's the problem, Eve?" "Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy." "Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above. "Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to…

"How old are you?" "That is a difficult question. The latest personal survey available shows my psychological age to be 12, my moral age 4, my anatomical age 7, and my physiological age 6. I suppose, however, that you refer to my chronological age, which is 8. That is so old-fashioned that I seldom think of it any…

"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, sir," the new recruit replied. "Well, then, that makes everything just fine ... " the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see…

"Can you spare some change?" a beggar asks a passerby. "No, I know you're going to spend it all on vodka." "No, sir, I don't drink." "Then you'll gamble it away." "No, I don't gamble either, sir." "Well then, you're going to spend it on women." "No, sir, I don't spend money on…

Giving Cats Pills

INSTRUCTIONS FOR GIVING YOUR CAT A PILL 1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. 2.…