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Glyme's Formula for Success: The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made. Формула успеха Глайма: Секрет успеха - в искренности. Как только вы сможете ее изобразить, считайте, что дело в шляпе. …

Frank was madly in love with Susan, but couldn't get up enough courage to pop the question face to face. Finally he decided to ask her on the telephone. "Darling!" He blurted out, "Will you marry me?" "Of course, I will, you silly boy," she replied, "Who's…

Four surgeons were sitting around discussing who they like to operate on The first surgeon said, "I like operating on librarians. When you open them up everything is in alphabetical order". The second surgeon said, "I like operating on accountants. When you open them up everything is in numerical order". The third surgeon…

First guy: Say, are you warm from the sun? Second guy: No, I'm Smith from the…

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,"' asked the lawyer. Farmer Joe responded, "Well, I'll tell you…

Farber's Fifth Rule: You have taken yourself too seriously.…

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!" "But why, Mom? I don't want to go." "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go." "Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me also!" "Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on…

During the initial space flights, Nasa discovered that biro pens didn't work under zero gravity conditions. To beat the problem, Nasa spent 6 years and $2 million in designing a pen for use in space. The pen would work under zero gravity conditions due to the pressurized ink inside, it would work under sub zero conditions, underwater, on glass and…

During a dinner party, the hosts' two little children entered the dining room totally nude and walked slowly around the table. The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept the conversation going. The guests cooperated and also continued as if nothing extraordinary was happening. After going all the way around…

Dog Property Rules 1. If I like it, it's mine. 2. If its in my mouth, it's mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it's mine. 4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. 5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine. 6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway. 7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine. 8. If I saw it…