If I Were You, Baby
I got ten zillion dollars, and nothing to do
I own Central Park, and California, too
Chicago and Buffalo are my states
And I forgot to mention the five Great Lakes
So if I were you, baby, I'd love me
You'd have maids and butlers, a big trust fund
A hundred carat ring that weighs a ton
A yacht, aeroplane, and nine special cooks
A thousand dresses, all new looks
So if I were you, baby, I'd love me
Hard times and blues, I don't know what they are
My trouble is spending money and eating caviar
I don't pay income tax because that's chicken feed
When the mint runs short, I ask them what they need
I'm the world's greatest lover that you've ever known
I'm better than Clark Gable or that guy, Tyrone
You'll never find a guy like me as long as you live
'Cause when I really give, I really give
So if I were you, baby, I'd love me
But let me pinch myself, to see if I'm awake
Before I give you that golden wedding cake
Ouch! I was asleep, so back to the job
For only thirty five bucks a week
Still if I were you, baby, I'd love me
