Supermodel's Legs
This morning it occurred to me
I might not look quite like a natural blonde
And I can't help but feel conned
The picture on the package
Showed a model with no baggage
Promising wild sex and marriage
With a big colour chart wand
This morning it occurred to me
I never will quite have a supermodel's legs
(Never in a million years)
Unless I cut each one in half
Become half an octopus
The two become synonymous
With cocaine, glamour, riches, beauty and crack
I took a trip to the National Gallery for
There was something more refreshing in what Rubens saw
My supermodel's legs
Think they were plucked from a Ruben-esque world
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
My supermodel's legs
Look pretty crap on a five-foot-four girl
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Women, men and in-betweens
Why don't you just stop dieting?
Go bake, eat cake
Go cheer, drink beer
Worrying is boring
If people said "Eat loads of cake"
You wouldn't want much anyway
And then you would stuff your face
And look like King Henry the Eighth
Instead we're told off every day
For living our lives the wrong damn way
Suck my left one's what I say
If I want six coffees a day
Women, men and in-betweens
Why don't you just stop dieting?
Go bake, eat cake
Go cheer, drink beer
Worrying is boring
Oh, I get more turned on by big cupcakes than heroin
Not rock and roll and much more Mary Poppins
Oh, supermodel's legs
They never held up much weight in my world
(Ooh-ah-ooh-ah-ooh-ah-ooh-ah)
Oh, supermodel's legs
'Cause women should be women
Girls should be allowed to be girls
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
(Too right)
