Spoken American Idiot Musical Parts
Johnny: February 2nd: I jerked off into oblivion last night and today I forgot to shower… again. Oh well. It doesn’t matter, because I’m just gonna meet up with Will, and Tunny, and the usual suspects, again, for another afternoon of shit talking…
Will: And cigarettes…
Tunny: And blah fucking blahhh...
Johnny: Ain’t it neat? God said that he would skin me alive.
Will: Or was that your step dad?
Johnny: Brad.
Tunny: That motherfucker.
Will: Heh, literally.
Tunny: I think he forgot to shower today also.
Will: I think I’m beginning to notice a pattern here.
Tunny: Ha, you think?
Johnny: Oh shit, is this my life?
(Cue Jesus of Suburbia)
Johnny: Will! Tunny! Are we gonna waste our lives, or are we gonna get the fuck out of here? (Cue Tales From Another Broken Home) Take one last look at this shithole, because these are our tickets out of here!
Will: Thank you Jesus!
Tunny: You saved my fucking life!
Johnny: February 5th: To the city! I held up my local convenience store to get the bus tickets. Actually, I stole the money from my mom's dresser. Actually she lent me the cash. Fucking bitch!
(Optional) Tunny: Fucking bitch!
Johnny: Give me sidewalk city shadows!
Tunny: My own private war.
Johnny: Rally the troops!
Tunny: Tell the bishop there's a resistance occurring, ya bastard!
Johnny: Everything's so fucking black and white...
Together: And the good guys ain't wearing red, white, or blue!
(Cue Holiday)
Johnny: February 24th: Dear Will, it sucks that you are not here. Tunny, all he... Tunny. Hey, Tunny.
Tunny: Leave me alone.
Will: All Tunny ever does is sleep. He doesn’t get it yet but this place is big enough for all the fuck ups and the underbelly.
Johnny: Hey, shine your light on this, motherfucker! I got plans, baby. Hang your dark cloud over your dirty old town. The end of the world is over. My riot. My love. My country. The dawning of a new city. New faces. New voices. My voice. My city.
(Cue Boulevard of Broken Dreams)
Johnny: March 15th: What the fuck? Tunny's dream turned red, white, and blue. But I thought the good guys don't wear red, white, and blue. Nobody seems to agree on anything these days. This city is misting over the skyscrapers. The cement feels so damp yet pretty at once. Is life imitating me or is rage imitating life? I feel like a civil war, like a knife in the heart. I got an axe to grind and it’s splitting my head open. No friends, no girls. I need both.
(Cue St. Jimmy)
Johnny: April 1st: Dear Mom, I shot drugs for the first time today. Thank you, Jimmy. Oh, yeah. Now we’re getting somewhere. Nowhere.
St. Jimmy: We don’t need no stinkin’ badges! (Alternatively, oh baby baby, it's fuck time!)
Johnny: WHAT?! Who said that? Oh. This is good.
Will: Ah, holy water.
Johnny: Oh my god. I forgot to take a shower again. But at least I got a friend, mom, you were right. I did make a friend at camp.
(Cue Give Me Novacaine)
Johnny: May 5th: My heart is like a bomb. She knows I’m full of shit, but she thinks I’m cute.
Will: Or is it the opposite?
Johnny: She’s taking me to a show tonight. Band’ll probably suck, but I’ll be with her. Is this just lust, or could it be the dawning?
(Cue Last of the American Girls)
Johnny: July 21st: Life before the lobotomy. Johnny sang the eulogy. It burned your dreams into the ground. Johnny’s lesson is what he’s been sold. Remember to learn to forget. I’m not stoned, I’m just fucked up. I’m not cursed, ‘cause I’ve been blessed. I’m not in love, ‘cause I’m a mess. I never liked you anyway. St. Jimmy rules! P.S. Don’t wait up!
(Cue Letterbomb)
Johnny: September 10th: Dear mom, do you remember when dad — Brad — said that I would never amount to anything? Well, I one upped him. I amount to nothing. I knew you’d be proud.
(Cue Wake Me Up When September Ends)
Johnny: December 7th: dear Dad, or God, or whatever. I sold my guitar to get a bus ticket home. I met the girl of my dreams, but I'm dead to her now. So I'm coming home in victory, arms open wide, sitting by a greyhound toilet. First stop, convenience store. I've got lies to tell. Glory never felt so good. Justice was served, you were just too stupid to notice. That's why I love you. PS Take a fucking shower!
(Cue Whatshername)
Johnny: So that was that. Or so it seemed. Is this the end, or the beginning? All I know is, she was right. I am an idiot. It’s even on my birth certificate in so many words. This is my rage. This is my love. This is my town. This is my city. This is my life.
(Curtain)
